who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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