So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
