I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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