My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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