your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
