it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 2 1 whiskey
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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