He disabled his match.com account in front of me
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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