I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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