i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
