i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
