It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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