Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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