We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
