there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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