its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He better not be in your backpack
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
