This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
