I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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