My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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