dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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