Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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