Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
