dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
How's work?
Spinning.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
