yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
