Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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