with your own penis?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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