yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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