I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
