Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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