I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
how drunk are you?
Several
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
