You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
