How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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