How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
