you traded sex for a burrito?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
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My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
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We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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