You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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