hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
