Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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