he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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