I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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