But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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