i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
