question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I came so hard my ears popped.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
