i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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