i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
