Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize