my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize