We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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