I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
