I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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