dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Terrible idea I love it
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
