I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
