Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
