Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Girls should come with a carfax report
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
No I am not eating basil off your cock
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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