Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
sarcasm needs its own font
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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