I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize