she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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