thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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