i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
