does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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