Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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