we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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