Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

Grow some girl-balls and come out already

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(678): View more from Georgia

My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU

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(719): View more from Colorado

never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..

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(443): View more from Maryland

There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.

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(705): View more from Ontario

Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.

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(949): View more from California

Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....

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(630): View more from Illinois

I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure

(1-630): View more from Illinois

You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am

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