it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize