I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
