You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
