plz talk dirty to me
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just threw up on my dentist
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
