GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
