Sponge bath it is.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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